Sons and Mothers
by PerpetualSnare
Summary: Adam and Mary are expecting a child, but can they agree on a name for their baby without stirring up painful memories? How will the newest Kendall affect Laura and Almanzo? Previously titled "What's In A Name?" **FINALLY updated...it only took me three years!***
1. Chapter 1

Mary Ingalls Kendall was with child; she was 8 months and some weeks along. She and her husband Adam anticipated the baby's arrival very soon and their excitement grew every day. The Kendalls had been parents to a sweet baby boy who had perished in a fire at the blind school that they had taught at, some five years before. Naturally, the couple had taken the loss of their son very hard. By all outward appearances, the Kendall's sorrow had ebbed one year after the fire. They were busy teaching at a new school, in a new town and had little time to sit and wallow. However, in quiet moments Mary would catch herself thinking of her son; the merry chortling sound he made when she tickled him; the feel of his lips against her skin when she nursed him; picking him up and laying him gently in his cradle after he had fallen asleep on his father's stomach. These memories of her baby boy would bring tears to her eyes, which she would then quickly brush away.

A year and a half after the fire, Adam had regained his sight through a freak accident. Teaching, which had once fulfilled him, soon became tedious. Following in his father's footsteps, he went to law school. Upon graduating, Adam and his wife moved to New York City, where he took a position in his deceased father's old law firm. His life was soon inundated with cases and social engagements. When Adam's colleagues would talk of their children; he would feel a twinge of grief. There wasn't a day that went by, where he didn't think of his son, longing for the day when the sound of a child's laughter would ring throughout their house again. To fill her empty days, Mary had a small retinue of blind children whom she tutored. Mary came to love her students, but she still yearned for a child of her own. The Kendall's prayers were answered in February, when Mary discovered that she was expecting. As Mary's due date approached, her mother, Caroline Ingalls, came to stay with the young couple

After the initial aftermath of the fire at the blind school, Mary and Adam never spoke to each other about their dead son. It was much too painful for the both of them. They never spoke of him, that is, until Adam made the mistake of bringing up the subject of baby names.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** _Honor or Erasure?_


	2. Honor or Erasure?

It was a warm August night: the Kendall's were reading in bed. Adam was going over the notes he had made earlier in the day concerning the medical malpractice case of one Mrs. Opal Smith. Mary was reading Jane Eyre with one hand while eating her fourth helping of fried chicken for the day with the other hand. Her ballooning stomach created a half moon under the covers. All of a sudden Adam said,

"We should start thinking about names for the baby" 

Mary stopped reading and replied,

"Ma thinks that we should name him Theodore after Governor Roosevelt"

"How do you know it's going to be a boy?"

"Well…with our history it just makes sense, the baby that I lost before Adam Jr. was a boy, and

then we had Adam Jr."

Mary had miscarried a year before Adam Jr. was born.

"I guess you're right", her husband replied, then continued, "as long as we're sure it's going to be

a boy, he'll be Adam."

At these words Mary slammed her book shut. Her sightless eyes clouded over and she angrily said,

"We will do no such thing."

"Why not?", Adam asked quizzically

"Because it's not a good idea", Mary stated firmly

"Why not?"

"We already have an Adam"

"But he's gone", Adam said gently

Mary shook her head and turned her head away from her husband. A tear slid down her cheek.

"Maybe he's not here with us, but Adam Jr. is _not _gone."

"You know what I meant."

"I do know what you meant"

"Then you have no problem with naming the baby Adam"

"Yes I do have a problem with it"

Adam laughed at his wife and said,

"This is nonsense Mary…what's in a name?"

"A great deal."

With that Mary slid out of bed, put on her wrapper, and left the room, taking the plate of fried chicken with her.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** _Understanding_


	3. An Understanding

The next morning, Adam awoke to an empty bed. He had drifted off to sleep about a half hour after Mary had stalked out of the room; it seemed that she had never made her way back to their bedroom. At first he was worried, but then he reasoned that his wife had probably gone to talk with her mother and had fallen asleep in the bedroom that Caroline was staying in. Once Adam had dressed for the day, he came downstairs to find his mother in law standing over the stove, making pancakes.

"That sure smells good.", Adam noted

"Good Morning!", Caroline said cheerfully

"Where's Mary?"

"Oh, she's upstairs in my room taking a nap."

"I guess she told you about our little argument"

"Yes she did"

"Don't you think she's being silly?"

"Now I'm not one to interfere", Caroline said coyly

"It's all right Caroline, 'interfering' is what mother-in-laws do", Adam laughed

Over the past seven years, Caroline and Adam had helped each other through some difficult times and were as close as a woman and her son in law could be. They knew that they could joke with each other without the other taking offense. Caroline laughed at Adam's comment, and then turned towards him.

"It just seems to me that naming the new baby _Adam _would stir up a lot of sad memories for Mary"

Adam just sighed and said

"But it's my name"

"I know." Caroline said softly. She paused for a moment and then said "There isn't a day that goes by where Mary doesn't think about that night. You know how she was after it first happened."

"You think that that night still doesn't haunt me?", Adam raised his voice at her. "I can still remember the sound of Hester-Sue screaming when she saw Alice and the baby in the window. I never felt so helpless in my life. I couldn't do anything. All those promises we make to our children when they're born, about how you're going to protect them and keep them from harm…it's all useless."

Adam's voice had become hoarse. Caroline looked as if she might cry, but then she regained her strength. She laid her hand on Adam's shoulder and said,

"Adam, listen to me. God wouldn't have given you and Mary this new child if he thought that you couldn't protect him. God sees the love that is inside you and he knows that you will do _everything_ in your power to keep your son from harm."

"And what if I fail? Losing another baby would be devastating to Mary."

Caroline smiled and said

"Lands sakes, don't go counting your chickens before they hatch. As Charles always says, _The Lord will provide."_

Adam had composed himself, having been somewhat comforted by Caroline's words.

"Caroline, you are an amazing woman. You are a tower of strength."

"I wouldn't be the person I am without the love of my family", Caroline stated simply

"I suppose"

"Now, this baby marks a new beginning for you and Mary. Give him a name that is all his own, a name that won't stir up unpleasant memories for his mother when she calls him"

"Maybe you're right.", Adam conceded

"Please, as a favor to your old mother in law, think of another name for your son.", Caroline requested. Caroline was hardly old. Only in her mid 40's and still in possession of a trim figure, she was still capable of turning heads, despite the few gray hairs that had settled into her blond tresses.

Adam was silent for a moment

"Alright, I will think of a new name"

Suddenly, they heard a knocking sound that seemed to be coming from the front of the house.

"Are you expecting someone?", Caroline inquired

"No, I wonder who that could be."

Adam got up from the table and made his way to the front door. Upon opening it, he was shocked to findMary's younger sister Laura and her husband Almanzo standing on his front porch. Laura was holding his niece Rose in her arms, while Almanzo carried their bags. Laura and Almanzo were grinning from ear to ear at a dumbfounded Adam Kendall.

"Surprise!" , Laura bellowed

* * *

**Next Chapter: **_Reunion_


	4. Reunion

**Three Months Earlier**

Almanzo and Laura Wilder hadn't been on a holiday in two years, not since they had left Walnut Grove, Minnesota for Mansfield, Missouri. Almanzo had purchased a rough, hilly, stony, and wooded forty acres of land, which Laura had promptly named Rocky Ridge Farm. They worked day in and day out, rebuilding their lives by the sweat of their brows. Their first crop in Missouri had been a success, and if the farmer's almanac was accurate, their second years crop would be just as bountiful.

Laura had had no intention of making any trips that summer. Rather, it was Almanzo who had brought the idea to her. One evening, early in June, Almanzo had walked into the kitchen with a letter in his hand; Laura was just about to put supper on the table. Her back was turned towards him and at first he didn't interrupt her. Instead, he stood in the doorway, admiring how the light that streamed in through the side window illuminated her hair. In this light, her hair looked more red then brown. Almanzo Wilder thought that his wife's hair was her best physical attribute. Then he snuck up behind her and kissed her tenderly on her neck.

"Almanzo , not while I'm cooking.", Laura fussed at him

Almanzo pulled away, setting his sweat-stained hat on the table.

"I got a letter here from your Ma"

The news caused Laura to turn around, slotted spoon in hand, dripping with a pepper butter sauce. A small drop of the sauce fell on the letter, neither of them noticed.

"Really? What did she say? My hands are dirty...read it to me please?", Laura eagerly awaited the news.

Almanzo upper lip curled into a smile

"She say's that your Pa is doing well and that all the kids are doing good in school. She says that Albert plans to do a lot of fishing while he's home for the summer. It looks like he also has some sort of apprentice job at a local hospital...from what it sounds like he'll be able to sit in on patient-doctor visits."

Albert was Laura's adopted brother. He had just finished his first year of medical school, which was a miracle considering the fact that he himself was a walking miracle, being a rare survivor of tuberculosis.

"Doesn't that beat all? What else does she say."

"Well, Grace lost her first baby tooth and there is a young fella at church who is making eyes at Carrie....but she's not interested. She _also_ said that she is going to New York to spend time with Mary."

Laura's eyes widened in curiosity,

"Let me see."

She snatched the letter out of Almanzo's hand and read aloud,

"_I am going to New York in early August to help Mary while she is in the _'_condition'. I feel that she must be awful lonely without any women kinfolk around. I asked your Pa if he could do without me for a few weeks and he said that he could. He and I both agreed that Carrie and Cassandra are old enough now that they can tend to the housework and Grace. So, I am off to New York in almost two months time. I am so excited to see my newest grandbaby. Speaking of grandchildren, give my little Rose a kiss for me. I miss her so much. All my love, Ma_

"I can't believe that Ma is going to New York!", Laura exclaimed

When Laura looked up at Almanzo she noticed that he was smirking, a smirk that she knew _very _well. She had christened it his "tricky look"

"What is it?"

"What would you say, if I told you that I bought two roundtrip tickets to New York today?"

Laura was stunned

"I would say that you're crazy"

"Well call me crazy"

"Almanzo Wilder, you didn't!"

"I did! I had a feeling that you might want to go and see Mary and your Ma. Well what do you think?"

"We can't leave the farm. You know that!"

"Now Beth, I asked Gerald Lawson if he would tend to the farm if we went away…and he said he would!"

"Almanzo, we can't impose on Mr. Lawson."

"He said he didn't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

Laura looked hesitant although the spark in her eyes told Almanzo that she desired to go.

"But Manly, can we afford it?"

"Now Beth, it's not your place to worry about our finances", Almanzo reproached her

"This marriage is a team Almanzo Wilder and I have just as much right to think about our bank account as you do."

"You always put me in my place, don't you?", Almanzo's face was severe but his voice was not for he was teasing her. Laura playfully punched him in the gut, saying

"If I don't, who will?"

Almanzo sighed

"You women have a way of changing the subject. Are we going to New York or not?"

"Can we afford it?", Laura looked her husband square in the eyes

"Yes we can", was Almanzo's simple answer

"Then it's settled.", Laura decared triumphantly

The thought of seeing Mary, Adam, her Ma, and hopefully a new niece or nephew excited Laura beyond belief. She embraced Almanzo, and as her head rested against his chest,she took in the scent of sweat mixed with the soap that she washed his shirts with. Then she turned her face towards him and smiled, he smiled back, kissed her on the nose and said

"I knew you would be happy"

"I am! But it's time for supper so get that smelly hat off our kitchen table."

They both turned to look at the beat up tan hat that was sitting on the table and laughed.


	5. Holding Court

After the Wilders had settled in for the day, Adam set out for his law office. While the womenfolk gossiped in the parlor, Almanzo sat on the front porch, enjoying a well-deserved nap in a cheery stained rocking chair.

Caroline Ingalls was in her element, holding court with Mary on her right. Laura on her left, and a sleeping Rose in her lap. As she sat there, Caroline couldn't decide which one of her daughters was prettier. When they were girls, Mary's gentle ways and good looks had attracted more suitors, but Laura grew up to be beautiful in a different way, her chestnut colored hair and freckled skin lent her a kind of warmth that was absent in the elder sister. Laura had the healthy glow of a woman who spent time under the sun and in the fields. At the moment though, Mary was radiant, as all expectant mothers are. In the end, Caroline decided that both her girls were equally attractive.

"Laura tell me about Missouri", Mary asked

"I've written you letters, telling you all about it."

"I know…but it's better when I hear your voice"

"Well, the Ozarks are not really mountains, they are valleys. So the skyline is always level and blue like the sea, and nearly always there is a lovely blue haze all over the hillsides. We have 40 acres right now, but we hope to get more. Almanzo just loves working the land, sometimes he'll come in from the days work, and he just looks _so_ happy."

As Laura said this, she pictured Almanzo sauntering through the door to thier Rocky Ridge home, with his tan hat atop his shock of golden blond hair. This image made her smile.

"That reminds me of how your Pa was when we first moved to Walnut Grove. Sometimes I think the love of the land is in the blood", Caroline said

"And how do you spend your days Laura?", Mary wanted to know everything

"Oh Mary, I am constantly busy, of course with Rose…and then with the baking and the cleaning and the washing…I almost never have time to myself!"

Mary thought about Laura's words and then said,

"It's funny, when I was a little girl, thinking of married life. I always thought that I would be a farmer's wife…and here I am living in the city, having my dresses made at Marshall's."

"But Mary, living in the city is so exciting, with all the museums and the theatre!", Laura exclaimed

"Laura Ingalls Wilder, you would never trade in your farm for city life and you know it! Your just like Pa", Mary insisted

"That's the truth! But Mary, how do _you _keep busy…I mean, before you found out about the baby? Didn't you write and tell me that you are teaching again?"

At this question, Mary's visage took on an air of melancholy, which was mirrored in her voice.

"I tutor four blind children a couple days a week, the youngest is seven and the oldest is sixteen, we work on Braille, and mobility. They are doing quite well!"

"You must miss teaching", Laura offered

"I do…more then you could ever know.", Mary sighed

There was a momentary lull in the conversation, when Caroline's eyes widened as big as saucers, it was as if she had forgotten to take a roast out of the oven on time and had just realized it. She turned towards Laura and announced,

"Oh Laura, I didn't get a chance to tell you, Andrew Garvey got married in May!"

Andrew Garvey was a childhood friend of Laura's. His mother Alice had also passed away in the fire that had taken Mary's son. Naturally, Andy and his father Jonathon had had a difficult time adjusting to life without Alice. The news of Andy's subsequent marriage delighted Laura immensely.

"Did he really? That's wonderful!."

"Yes…to a girl named Hannah Burrows, for now they are going to stay in Sleepy Eye and continue to live in the house with Jonathon."

"First Willie Olson…then Andy…soon it will be Albert's turn!", Mary thought aloud

"Albert won't be able to support a family until he graduates from medical school…which will be some time yet", Caroline reminded her

Just then, Almanzo wandered into the room, scratching the back of his head with his right hand

"Warning…rooster in the hen house", he cautioned

This made the women laugh

"Manly, how was your nap?", Laura inquired

"Just fine…I have to say Mary, that rocking chair you have on the front porch is mighty comfortable."

"Why thank you…it's one of the few things we have from Adam's father."

Adam's father had passed away in heavy debt, and most of his possessions had been sold after the funeral. All of a sudden, Rose opened her eyes.

"Cookie", the little girl gurgled

"No cookies for you Rosie…you'll spoil your appetite" Almanzo chided his daughter

"I want cookie", Rose said again, this time with a little pout

"Oh Laura, Ma made some sugar cookies yesterday, let Rose have one.", Mary pleaded

"Well, I suppose that_ one _would be alright.", Laura decided

"I'll get it" Caroline volunteered

As Caroline went to fetch the cookie, a small feeling of dissatisfaction crept upon Mary. She knew that she should be happy, surrounded by family, living in a nice home provided by a husband who adored her, and with a baby on the way. Despite knowing how she _should_ feel, Mary was discontented.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **_What Might Have Been_


	6. What Might Have Been

That night, Mary sat before her vanity combing her long blond hair, thinking about the events of the last few hours. Everything that Adam had said during dinner had rubbed Mary the wrong way, even something as simple as "please pass the butter" had irritated her and the mere sound of his voice made her cross; to her ears,his jokes were paltry and his comments flat. Although, everyone _else _seemed to be having a grand time.

As Mary pondered all of this, it dawned upon her that she was exceedingly unhappy. She turned towards Adam who was sitting in bed,looking over the proceedings from _Munn vs. Illinois_, which dated from the late 70's; occasionally he would make notes in the margins with a pencil.

"Have you ever thought about moving back out west?", she suddenly announced

"Not really", Adam said absent-mindedly and without looking up from his reading

"Not at all?", Mary questioned

"Why would I?", Adam muttered

"I don't know", she said wistfully

At this Adam looked up from his book with curiosity

"What is this about?"

"I don't know", Mary said evasively

"I think I do…it's being around your Ma and Laura. You miss your family."

"_Of course_ I miss my family, but it's more than that."

"What?"

Mary twisted a strand of her hair between her thumb and forefinger.

"I miss our old life", she sighed

"Our old life?"

She leaned forward on the chair with a dreamy look in her eyes

"You know teaching together, we don't spend time together like we used too…when we first came to New York at least I could work in your office…and then…", her voice trailed off in frustration.

Adam looked apologetic.

"I _know _that you miss working together and I _know_ that hiring a sighted secretary was unfair, but _you_ know how a busy law office is"

"Yes I do know", she said matter of factly

Adam laid the book down on his lap

"Look Mary, I sacrificed a lot to come out here. I thought you understood."

Mary bristled at this.

"And you think I didn't sacrifice anything? A job that I loved? My family? I've never liked living in the city and you know it!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Pack my bags and move back to Minnesota?"

"Of course not", Mary yelled while slamming her brush down on the vanity

"Mary I don't know what you want from me. All I've ever done is try to make you happy. I would do anything you asked of me, but I won't leave New York!"

"I'm not asking you to leave New York, but I don't understand why we couldn't have moved to Chicago…or Minneapolis…why did you choose New York?"

"I had a job offer here…besides New York is where I grew up, it's my home"

"How nice for you.", Mary said sardonically

Adam threw his pencil down on the patchwork quilt in frustration.

"I can't be someone I'm not. I'm not a farmer like your Pa and Almanzo…and teaching was never really my passion."

Adam regretted his last statement the second that it left his mouth.

"You sure fooled me", Mary spat bitterly

This stung Adam. If it wasn't for teaching, he would have never met Mary, who had been a source of pride and joy for the past seven years of his life. Why, just two days earlier, Adam had lunched with an old friend of his father's who remarked that he was "lucky to have such a beautiful and smart wife."

"Mary…teaching with you were some of the best years of my life. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world."

"That's a lie! You traded them in for a fancy office and fine tailored suits!"

Adam slammed his book shut and stood up

"I can't do this. I am going to go downstairs and read until you calm down"

Mary stood up in anger.

"Adam Kendall, don't treat me like a child!"

"I wasn't…I just don't want to fight"

"I don't want to fight either", Mary hollered at him

Her admission changed the mood in the room. The tension flew out of the open window like anightingale. Mary sat down again in frustration. Adam laid his book down on the bed, and then crossed the room to where his wife was sitting. He knelt down beside Mary and laid his head gently on top of her gibbous belly, instinctively she placed her hand on his head, stroking his hair.

"I don't _want_ to fight", she repeated in a despondent manner

"I know you don't sweetheart."

"What's wrong with me Adam?"  
"I wish I knew…maybe the stress of the baby? The excitement of Laura's visit?"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm just not needed. I mean, Almanzo needs Laura to help work the farm with him...she works in the fieldswith him sometimes...I can't help you like that. "

"Honey...it's silly to think that you don't help me", Adam admonished her

"Is it?"

Adam took her hand in his, and squeezed it tightly

"Mary…I want you to listen to me and I want you to listen good. During the years when I was blind, I lived in a dark world and I thought that everything would become clear if I could _only _see…that I would understand the mysteries of the world…all the things that I couldn't understand about myself and about others. But, when I got my sight back, the world was _still_ dark. Human beings go through everyday life trying to make sense of it all, and we usually just end up just stumbling through it. That is why we need loved ones to guide us. Don't you _understand_, Mary…what I'm trying to say is…things _have _changed for you and me, there is no denying that… but, I still need you, to help me, to guide me through _my _darkness, to pick me up when I fall. That will _never_ change. _Never_ think that I don't need you."

A tear fell from Mary's cheek onto Adam's.

"I want to believe you…but?"

"What does Genesis say?…_therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh_. Trust in that."

A sense of peace washed over Mary for her husband's wisdom had reassured her, as it had done so many times before. She wiped away her tears with the back of her left hand.

"Why do you put up with me?", Mary asked

"Because I love you…and I love this baby that is inside of you…whatever his name is"

"Adam."

"What?"

"No….that's his name"

Adam lifted his head from her stomach and looked at her in astonishment

"But I thought you said…?"

"I was and I felt that way up until 2 minutes ago."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I named our first baby after you because of how much I loved you, because of how much you give to my life …and that will _never _change"

"Are you sure?", Adam inquired

"Yes", was Mary's firm reply

* * *

**Next Chapter:** _The New Addition_


	7. The New Arrival

Adam paced on the front porch like a mouse locked in a cat-house, his lean frame rife with distress . In sharp contrast, Almanzo was the very essence of composure, sitting on a rocking chair and strumming tunes on his guitar. For the past four hours, Caroline and Laura had been trying to coax baby Kendall into the world. Dr. Fields had been there for only one of those four. At first Almanzo's music making had had a calming affect on the father to be, but it soon grew maddening.

In the midst of _Beautiful Dreamer_, Adam snapped at his brother in law

"Do you have to do that?"

"Not if it bothers you"

"It does"

Almanzo ceased his playing and laid the guitar gently on the tired old porch floorboards.

"How about a game of rummy?", Almanzo suggested

"No thank you", was the terse reply

"Checkers?"

Adam knew that Almanzo was trying to take his mind off the situation at hand. While he appreciated the gesture, he had no patience for it.

"Almanzo…I don't want to play any games…I'm too nervous"

"Everything will be just fine."

"Then why is it taking so long?"

"I don't know. Although, it took my sister Eliza-Jane 10 hours to make her first appearance in the world and she turned out alright…trust me, _everything will be fine_."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were in my shoes"

Almanzo felt that this was a bit unfair.

"I have been…_twice_ …the doc knows what he's doing and so do Beth and Caroline …after all they have been through the same thing seven times combined…"

"It's too quiet", Adam said aloud "Last time Mary hollered so loud you could have heard her in Sleepy Eye."

This was true. Neither men had yet to hear the sound of a baby or of Mary's delivery pains. Laura had been down after two hours to tell them that it was "taking longer then expected" and "not to worry"

Almost as if on cue, they heard the sound of a woman yelling something awful, it could only have been Mary. Adam didn't know if he should be worried or relieved. Almanzo's forehead creased in concern, despite his own encouraging words. He knew the anticipation that his brother in law was feeling. The excitement mixed with fear, the knot in the pit of the stomach…all the questions swimming around in his head. _Is it going to be a boy or a girl? Will the baby be healthy? _And then there were the darker questions._ Will the baby die? Will my wife die? Am I going to be left alone to raise this child or am I going to bury them both? _It was only two years before that Almanzo and Laura had buried a son. Almanzo was determined to push those bleak memories away, and again put on a cheerful demeanor.

"Why don't we talk a stroll down yonder way…Mary told me about a restuarant called_ Abe Slaney's _that serves up a mean slice of apple pie", Almanzo said

"I don't want to take a walk and I certainly don't want to eat pie"

"Look…that baby is not going to get here any sooner by you standing on this porch"

"I am not leaving this spot"

"Suit yourself. I'm going to get a fresh cup of coffee"

About five minutes passed in the interval in which Almanzo fetched the coffee. In that time, the howling from above ebbed and flowed like the shores of the Pacific. One minute you would hear an awful yell and then there would be silence. Adam began to regret bringing Mary all the way to New York, taking her away from her family and her beloved Walnut Grove. Almanzo returned with two steaming cups of coffee. He handed one to Adam and then took his place in the rocking chair again. There had been a small period of quiet, but then the commotion started upstairs again.

Finally Adam pounded his fist on the front door in frustration

"I can't listen to this anymore. I'm going for that walk"

"Sounds good to me….we can grab that pie, it will be my treat."

The two men hadn't taken more than five steps down the footpath, when Laura came outside, sleeves rolled up above her elbows, towel slung over her shoulder. Almanzo and Adam turned around when they heard the screen door bang behind her. Wisps of her hair had fallen from her bun onto her forehead and beads of sweat glistened on her skin. Under the faint glow of the porch light, Laura's russet eyes sparkled like Orion's belt.

Before Laura could say anything, a torrent of questions flew out of Adam's mouth.

"Is she alright? Is the baby…?"

"Mary is fine….the baby is fine…don't worry"

"Well Thank God", Almanzo uttered, almost to himself

"How is he? The baby I mean", Adam was nearly afraid to ask

Laura just shook her head in amusement and laughed

"He? He? You have a healthy baby _girl_!"

Adam was flabbergasted, he had to steady his nerves by taking a seat in the rocking chair recently vacated by Almanzo

"A girl? Are you sure?"

"Now what kind of question is that. Of course I'm sure"

An immense feeling of joy flowed between the three of them

"Congratulations! Looks like you'll have to think of a new name!", Almanzo beamed as he slapped his brother in law playfully on the back.


	8. A Child With No Name

"What do you mean the baby doesn't have a name yet?", Almanzo said in dismay

It was the morning after baby Kendall's birth and Laura had just informed her husband that Mary and Adam hadn't bestowed a name on their daughter yet. Laura sat on the parlor settee; Almanzo stood before her with both hands on his hips. Caroline was upstairs attending to Mary, who was still recovering.

"Manly, I know what you're thinking.", Laura said sadly

"How could I not? We didn't give him a name…and look what happened! God took him away!" Almanzo insisted as he tried to remain calm.

"Don't be superstitious Manly. Our not giving our son a name had nothing to do with what happened."

"Maybe…maybe not."

"What are you suggesting?", Laura probed

"I'm suggesting that maybe God thought we didn't care enough...maybe he took him away from us as punishment.", Almanzo bellowed at her

This pushed Laura over the edge. She stood up and looked Almanzo in the eye. Her voice was low and unsteady and her brown eyes filled with anger.

"Almanzo James Wilder…don't you _dare_ suggest that I didn't care about that child. I loved him as much as I love Rose!"

Hot tears started to flow down Laura's freckled face. She could not believe that her Almanzo would say such a terrible thing, especially to her. Laura ran out of the room and out of the house, not knowing where she her feet were taking her. All she knew was that she had to get away from Almanzo.

Almanzo felt utterly ashamed as he watched Laura run out of the house. How could he have spoken such malicious words to the woman that he loved? His raw emotion had gotten the better of him. After such a display of foolishness, Almanzo knew that he had no right to go after his wife. He only hoped that Laura's fury was not as strong as his remorse and that she would return to the house soon.


	9. Connections

Fresh morning light streamed into Mary and Adam's bedroom and it skipped across their patchwork quilt. Mary sat upright in bed rocking her little girl to sleep after the child's first feeding of the day. Mary's blond locks were plaited in a single braid that was draped over her right shoulder. Aside of a brief bath administered by Caroline, baby Kendall had barely been out of her parent's arms. If Mary wasn't holding her, Adam was. The child's first night was spent sleeping between her parents and not in the cradle that had once been Adam's. The young couple that had lost a cherished son were determined to keep their new baby safe. Even Caroline had a difficult time wresting her granddaughter away from the eager parents.

Suddenly, there was a light knocking at the door.

"Come in" Mary called

Almanzo opened the door, but when he saw that the baby was sleeping he didn't enter.

"I'm sorry to bother you Mary. I'll come back later.", Almanzo whispered

"No…Almanzo don't go. Please sit down…just talk quietly…so you don't wake her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Almanzo took a seat in a chair on the right side of the bed. This was the first time that he had seen his new niece. Her hair was brown like her fathers, but she seemed to have the Ingall's nose. Mary was glad to have the company, and was proud to show off her new daughter to her brother-in-law."

"She sure is pretty Mary", Almanzo complimented her

Mary smiled and stroked her daughter's soft head. Almanzo had never seen Mary look so happy as she did at that instant.

"Adam's mother was supposed to have been a great beauty and Ma says that the baby looks like a Kendall.", Mary told him

"Well…I was just thinking that she looks like an Ingalls." Almanzo said

"I am sure she will take after both sides.", Mary laughed

Almanzo's mind wandered to the events of that morning. As he thought about his recent fight with Laura, he felt that he needed advice. Looking at Mary, he realized how much he didn't know about her. They had never really gotten a chance to get to know each other very well. He always thought of Mary as a sweet but rather serious young woman. Furthermore, when Almanzo thought of Mary's life, he thought of tragedy and misfortune. He wasn't sure that he could open up to her.

However, Mary sensed her brother-in-law's mood. After she lost her sight, Mary gained an uncanny knack for reading people's emotions through their voices.

"Almanzo, is there something wrong?", she seemed concerned

Mary was his wife's older sister. She had shared a room with Laura for many years and had witnessed many of Laura's best and worst moments. Surely Almanzo could be truthful with Mary.

"Oh Mary, I made a mess of things with Laura this morning.", Almanzo sighed

"Why? What happened?"

"Well, when she told me that you didn't have a name for the baby yet, it made me think of our son. We didn't give him name before God took him. I said some things to Laura that I shouldn't have said…and she ran off crying."

Almanzo thought that Mary was going to scold him, but she didn't.

"You men sure have a way of putting your foot in your mouths.", she chuckled

"I guess so."

Mary was silent and for a moment it seemed as if she wasn't aware of Almanzo's presence. Then she bent down and thoughtfully kissed her daughter on the forehead. After a moment of quiet, Mary turned her attention to Almanzo, speaking sympathetically and wisely.

"Almanzo, Ingalls women are strong-willed and independent and we can get through the toughest times with grace and a smile, but we wear our hearts on our sleeves. Even Ma…she helped Pa through thick and thin and hid her true feelings much of the time, but I could always see when she was afraid…or when she was sad…even after I lost my sight."

"Mary, what should I do? How can I fix things?", Almanzo implored her

"Tell her what you are really feeling, instead of hiding behind angry words...Almanzo, you have to be gentle with Laura. "

Almanzo knew that this was common sense, but he couldn't always put it into practice.

"I try to be…it's just sometimes my anger gets the better of me."

"Almanzo…we all become angry with our loved ones…just remember what Emerson said _For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness_."


	10. A Marble Maiden

After her fight with Almanzo, Laura did not wander far. The city was indeed a stranger to her and she was afraid of not being able to find her way back. Laura ended up at a small verdant park about three blocks west of the Kendall house and proceeded to plant herself on a cast iron bench that faced a three tiered water fountain constructed of white marble. On the uppermost tier stood a three foot statue of a young Gecian girl carrying a water jug on her head. If the fountain had been turned on, water would have spouted out of the water jug, splashing down the other tiers into the scalloped edged fountain base. As it was, the well had been empty that morning when the Grecian girl had gone to fetch that day's supply. Laura thought that the girl looked somewhat dejected, even if she was only a statue. Or perhaps Laura was transferring her own feelings onto the marble maiden.

Laura loved Almanzo with every fiber of her being and she knew that he loved her with a parallel intensity, but she wondered how someone who loved her so much was also capable of slicing her heart in two. The vitriol that had come out of Almanzo's mouth that morning had managed to unsettle his wife in ways that he had not intended. The nameless Wilder son had been and continued to be a North Star for his mother, guiding her in almost everything that she did even if she was not always aware of his influence. Did it honestly matter if he was Baby Wilder instead of Almanzo Jr. or Charles or Theodore? In Laura's mind, her son had had several names, "love" and "goodness" being just two of them. She knew that her son had been placed in God's hands on that black and sunny morning when she had tried to rouse him from sleep, but this wasn't always a comfort.

Laura ran her hands across the iron planks of the bench and was surprised at how warm they felt. A tear slid down her cheek and her left hand wiped it away in a half hearted manner. Life is filled with surprises with which we have to reconcile; in her heart Laura knew that. She also knew that Almanzo had spoken from a place of pain that he usually did not visit while in her presence and so her anger had started to wane somewhat. Laura looked up at the marble maiden and admired the artistry that had created the youthful visage and slender limbs. The arc that the girl's arms created as they held the jug atop her head was most graceful. Laura tried to imagine a time when her human flesh looked as vibrant as that of the marble goddess in front of her. Suddenly a flash of white appeared in her mind and she saw the skirts of her best Sunday dress dance as Almanzo spun her around her Pa's barn. That had been before their marriage and even before they had begun courting. It had been a moment of spontaneous shared joy that had transpired because they had learned that Almanzo's favorite horse was expected to make a complete recovery. She had only been a girl then, just 15 years old. The intervening years had changed her in ways that she couldn't have foreseen on that morning in the barn. Laura had experienced much heartache and hardship, but her lively spirit remained the same as it always had been. With the white of her dress still dancing in her mind, Laura bid farewell to the marble maiden and left the park resolved to make peace with Almanzo.


	11. A Summer Dance

Laura thought about what she was going to say to Almanzo as she walked home that afternoon. The air was pleasantly cool and Laura enjoyed every moment of it as she took in the unfamiliar sights of the city. As Laura approached the Kendall house, she began to hear the sounds of a hammer rising and falling. As she got closer, she realized the sounds were coming from behind Mary and Adam's house. Laura walked around to the back to find Adam putting the finishing touches on an infant's highchair. At first, he didn't notice Laura. Adam was wearing the brown pants from his work suit, but he was also wearing a blue and brown plaid shirt instead of the white shirt that he had worn to the office that morning. Laura silently appraised the workmanship that had gone into the highchair. It was good, for a novice carpenter but Laura knew that her Pa would have produced a piece of superior craftsmanship. Charles would have carved more detail into the seat and headrest, perhaps roses. She thought Adam looked ridiculous in the plaid shirt. You can put a city boy in a country shirt, but that doesn't make him a country boy. Laura laughed out loud and Adam lifted his head in her direction.

"What's so funny? Is my work that bad?", he asked with smile.

"Oh Adam, the chair is beautiful, but where in the world did you get that shirt?"

"Caroline sent it for my last birthday. Is there something wrong with it?"

"It's just that it's a farmer's shirt and I could never imagine you being a farmer."

Laura continued to laugh, and at first Adam did too. Then he thought about the times that Mary had expressed regret about moving away from the country. Sometimes Adam felt that Mary secretly compared him to her father, and that he came out short more often than not.

"Laura, can I ask you a question? As Mary's sister?," Adam said quietly

"Of course.", Laura said with concern

"Do you think Mary is happy?"

Laura was puzzled by the question and wasn't really sure what her brother in law was asking.

"What do you mean Adam? Why wouldn't Mary be happy?"

"Well, she's a country girl at heart and living in the city has been a big adjustment for her."

Laura began to understand what Adam was talking about. Mary was a country girl and she always would be. Her youth has been spent on the wild prairies of the Midwest picking flowers and playing in the woods with her sisters. If Mary hadn't lost her sight, she probably would have married a farmer and set up house just as Laura had done, but that wasn't what God had planned for her.

"Adam, don't think about the choices that you could have made. So what if you're not a farmer or a country boy like Almanzo. It hasn't stopped you from loving or providing for Mary. Mary will hold the prairie in her heart wherever she goes. Do you know what she once told me?"

"What?", Adam said

"Before Mary left Walnut Grove to move to New York, she told me that she holds the prairie in her heart, not in her eyes…and that it didn't matter where she was as long as she was with you.", Laura said comfortingly

"She told me that once too.", Adam remembered aloud

Music started to drift from the open windows of the parlor. Caroline had put a record on the phonograph and _Jeannie with the Light Brown Hair _could be heard both inside and outside the house.

Adam and Laura both smiled. The former put down his hammer and bowed. He extended his right hand to Laura.

"May I have his dance?"

Laura accepted with a laugh and she and her brother-in-law began to dance in the backyard. As they danced, they talked about the old times in Winoka and Walnut Grove. Almanzo, who had been sitting in the parlor, was drawn out onto the back porch by the sound of their voices. The sight of Laura warmed his heart and he was relieved to see that she had made her way back to the house safely. Almanzo called out to the dancing pair.

"May I cut in?"


	12. A Rainy Evening Waltz

Laura and Adam stopped dancing and turned their heads toward Almanzo, who walked purposefully towards them with his eyes fixed on Laura.

"I'm not one to deny a man's right to dance with his own wife. I'll go see how Mary is doing.", Adam said cordially and then excused himself and went inside.

Adam was well aware that Laura and Almanzo had private matters to discuss as Mary had informed her husband of the morning confidences that Almanzo had shared with her. Mary had a difficult time keeping things from Adam. He was her best friend as well as her husband.

Almanzo held up his muscular arms in the proper position to lead a waltz, expecting that Laura would respond in the appropriate fashion. Instead, she threw herself against him and began sobbing into his shirt. Almanzo drew his arms around her tightly. As they stood embracing each other, the air shifted lightly and a few clouds began to gather overhead.

"Beth…I am so sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said to you.", he whispered. He thought of what Mary had told him about being gentle with Laura.

"I know you didn't mean what you said.", Laura answered through her tears.

"I don't know what got into me.", Almanzo voiced his mind.

Laura gathered herself and broke the tight hold that she had on Almanzo and slipped her hands into his.

"I do. When I was helping Ma and the doctor last night I started thinking about the morning he was born …and then…", Laura faltered.

"And then what", Almanzo asked quietly.

"The morning he left us…", she finished.

"I know. I was too. I was excited for Adam last night, but I kept thinking about Baby Wilder.", Almanzo admitted.

The wind picked up even more and the leaves on the oak tree in the yard began to sway. Laura felt a single drop of rain alight on her right hand, but she ignored it.

"I really hope that this girl of Mary's grows up to be great friends with Rose. I don't want any more loss in this family. It's just been too much.", Laura said and then silently offered a prayer for her older sister and for herself.

"Loss is part of life, Beth.", Almanzo said as he eyed the dark clouds in the sky. A few more drops of rain fell around and on them. Almanzo briefly thought about how the farm was doing, when Laura's words brought him back to the conversation.

"Of course it is…but Ma and Mary know just like I do how hard it is to lose a child. Just think…Adam Jr would have been five now and Baby Wilder would have been two…and Freddie….Ma hasn't talked about him in years, but I know she thinks about him!"

Almanzo interrupted Laura with a stern tone and put his hands on her shoulders to calm her.

"Beth, stop it…just stop it…don't do this to yourself. There is no point in thinking about what could have been. God has a bigger plan than we could ever hope to understand."

"I try to believe that…sometimes though it is so hard to see the purpose for such sadness.", Laura mused aloud.

"I don't think we will ever completely understand, but I know that we can't shut down forever when somebody we love is taken from us. If we did, we wouldn't be able to open our hearts to the people who need our love in the here and now."

"I know that you're right.", Laura sighed softly.

The rain was now falling quite steadily, but there were no signs of thunder yet. It was a simple summer evening shower and Almanzo enjoyed the soft rhythm of the rain upon his face.

"We should go inside.", Laura said and began to gather up her skirts so that they wouldn't get wet.

"But…I never got that dance.", Almanzo reminded her and he held his arms in waltz position again.

"In the rain?", Laura squeaked and then pursed her lips at him.

"Why not? I think it would be quite refreshing don't you?", Almanzo insisted.

Almanzo had the most infectious grin on his face. His smile made Laura feel like a teenager again. Laura couldn't help but put her right hand on his shoulder and her left hand in his right hand.

"And away we go.", Almanzo roared as they started to gallop around the yard and tried their best not to fall down even though their shoes were getting wet and dirty.

The young couple laughed at the precariousness of life as they danced. All that mattered at that moment was that they were holding each other in love.

* * *

"I don't believe it!", Adam said as he peered out of his bedroom window. He was holding Baby Kendall gently in his arms. He had been trying to rock the baby to sleep when he and Mary had heard laughter coming up from the backyard.

"What is it?", Mary called from their bed. The delivery had been difficult for Mary and the doctor recommended that she stay in bed for at least two to three days following the birth while she regained her strength.

"Your sister and Almanzo are dancing in the rain.", Adam told her with amusement.

"What?", Mary said, not sure if she had heard him correctly.

"…dancing in the rain…_and_ kissing like love-struck newlyweds. They are completely soaked!", Adam added with a chuckle.

When Mary had formulated a mental picture to illustrate what Adam had just described to her an expansive smile spread across her face.


End file.
